SCARS Institute Scam Victim Suicide Prevention Guide For Victim Advocates

Principal Category: Scam Victim Advocates

Authors:
•  Vianey Gonzalez B.Sc(Psych) – Licensed Psychologist, Specialty in Crime Victim Trauma Therapy, Neuropsychologist, Certified Deception Professional, Psychology Advisory Panel & Director of the Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Inc.
•  Tim McGuinness, Ph.D. – Anthropologist, Scientist, Polymath, Director of the Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams Inc.

The SCARS Institute Guide to Suicide Prevention Support for Traumatized Relationship Scam Victims provides comprehensive strategies for addressing the unique psychological and emotional challenges faced by victims of relationship scams. These victims often experience severe emotional trauma, financial devastation, social isolation, and increased mental health risks, all of which contribute to a heightened risk of suicidal ideation. The guide emphasizes the importance of recognizing warning signs, such as expressions of hopelessness and withdrawal from social interactions, and the need for professional mental healthcare intervention to address these risks effectively. It advocates for a collaborative approach in creating personalized safety plans with victims, involving them in decision-making and empowering them to manage their safety. The guide also highlights the role of ongoing support and collaboration with community resources to provide comprehensive care, ultimately aiming to reduce the risk of suicide and foster resilience in victims as they recover from their trauma.

SCARS Institute Guide to Suicide Prevention Support for Traumatized Relationship Scam Victims

Introduction

Suicide prevention among victims of relationship scams is a complex issue that requires understanding the unique psychological and emotional trauma these individuals experience. Relationship scam victims often endure significant financial loss, betrayal, and emotional devastation, leading to feelings of hopelessness and despair. This guide provides suicide prevention strategies tailored to the needs of these victims, focusing on recognizing warning signs, providing support, and implementing best practices in counseling.

Important Note

Professional mental healthcare intervention is crucial for anyone experiencing suicidal ideation because it provides the specialized support and treatment necessary to address the underlying causes of their distress. Mental health professionals, such as therapists, counselors, and psychiatrists, are trained to assess the severity of suicidal thoughts, develop tailored treatment plans, and implement evidence-based interventions that can help individuals manage their emotions and reduce the risk of suicide. These professionals can offer a safe space for individuals to explore their feelings, learn coping strategies, and receive the appropriate care, whether through therapy, medication, or other forms of support. Early intervention by mental health professionals can significantly improve outcomes, prevent crises, and potentially save lives, making it an essential component of suicide prevention efforts.

• U.S. & Canada Crisis Hotline – dial 988
• If you are looking for local trauma counselors please visit counseling.AgainstScams.org
• If you need to speak with someone now, you can dial 988 or find phone numbers for crisis hotlines all around the world here: www.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlines

Understanding the Risk Factors

Overview

Victims of relationship scams may exhibit several risk factors for suicide, including:

1. 1. Emotional Trauma: The emotional betrayal and manipulation experienced in relationship scams can lead to severe psychological distress.
   2. Financial Devastation: The loss of significant financial resources often leads to feelings of hopelessness and despair.
   3. Social Isolation: Victims may withdraw from social circles due to shame, guilt, or fear of judgment.
   4. Mental Health Conditions: Depression, anxiety, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) are common among scam victims and can increase suicide risk.

Victims of relationship scams face a unique set of challenges that significantly increase their risk for suicidal ideation and behavior. Understanding these risk factors is crucial for providing effective support and intervention. Below are the key risk factors that contribute to the heightened suicide risk among this population:

Emotional Trauma

• 1. Betrayal and Manipulation: Relationship scams often involve deep emotional manipulation, where the scammer creates a false sense of intimacy and trust. When victims realize they have been deceived, the emotional impact can be devastating. The betrayal by someone they believed to care for them can lead to intense feelings of shame, guilt, and self-blame. Victims may struggle with the notion that they were “foolish” or “naive,” further compounding their emotional pain.
  2. Loss of Self-Worth: The realization of being scammed often leads to a significant blow to the victim’s self-esteem. They may feel worthless, unlovable, or embarrassed, leading to a negative self-image and increased vulnerability to suicidal thoughts.

Financial Devastation

• 1. Severe Financial Loss: Relationship scams frequently involve significant financial exploitation, where victims are coerced or manipulated into sending money, often their life savings, to the scammer. The financial loss can be catastrophic, leading to a sense of hopelessness about their future. Victims may feel trapped in a situation where they see no way to recover financially, which can be a powerful motivator for suicidal thoughts.
  2. Debt and Financial Strain: In many cases, victims may incur debt to provide the funds requested by the scammer, believing they are helping a loved one. This debt, combined with the loss of savings, can create overwhelming financial stress. The victim may also face legal and financial consequences, such as bankruptcy or losing their home, further exacerbating their sense of despair.

Social Isolation

• 1. Withdrawal from Social Circles: The shame and embarrassment associated with falling victim to a scam can lead victims to withdraw from friends and family. They may avoid social interactions to escape judgment or ridicule, leading to increased loneliness and isolation. This isolation can prevent them from seeking the support they need, making it more difficult to recover from the trauma.
  2. Fear of Judgment: Victims often fear being judged or ridiculed by their peers, which can result in a reluctance to disclose their experience. This fear of judgment can lead to a lack of emotional support, as victims may not reach out to others for help, increasing their risk of depression and suicidal ideation.

Mental Health Conditions

• 1. Depression: The emotional trauma and financial devastation resulting from a relationship scam can trigger or exacerbate depression. Symptoms of depression, such as persistent sadness, hopelessness, and a lack of interest in life, are common among scam victims. Depression is a well-known risk factor for suicide, and without appropriate intervention, these feelings can intensify over time.
  2. Anxiety and PTSD: Victims of relationship scams may develop anxiety disorders or PTSD. The constant fear of being deceived again, hypervigilance, flashbacks, and intrusive thoughts about the scam can contribute to severe anxiety. The combination of anxiety and PTSD symptoms can overwhelm the victim, leading to thoughts of suicide as a means of escaping the psychological torment.
  3. Substance Abuse: Some victims may turn to alcohol or drugs as a way to cope with the emotional pain and stress caused by the scam. Substance abuse can further impair judgment, increase impulsivity, and heighten the risk of suicidal behavior.

Stigma and Shame

• 1. Stigma of Being a Victim: Society often stigmatizes victims of scams, viewing them as “gullible” or “careless.” This stigma can prevent victims from seeking help or sharing their experiences with others, leading to a sense of isolation and unworthiness. The internalization of this stigma can severely damage the victim’s self-esteem and mental well-being.
  2. Shame and Self-Blame: Victims frequently blame themselves for falling prey to a scam, believing they should have been more cautious or skeptical. This self-blame can lead to intense feelings of shame and guilt, which are powerful contributors to suicidal ideation. Victims may see suicide as the only way to escape the unbearable emotional pain and humiliation.

Loss of Identity and Purpose

• 1. Identity Crisis: Relationship scams often involve a deep level of emotional involvement, where victims invest not only their finances but also their sense of self in the relationship. When the scam is revealed, victims may experience a profound identity crisis, questioning their judgment, self-worth, and purpose. This loss of identity can lead to feelings of emptiness and a lack of direction in life.
  2. Purpose and Meaning: The betrayal and loss experienced in a relationship scam can strip victims of their sense of purpose. They may feel that their life has lost meaning, particularly if they were emotionally dependent on the scammer. The absence of a sense of purpose can contribute to feelings of hopelessness and increase the risk of suicidal thoughts.

Hopelessness and Despair

• 1. Hopelessness About the Future: The combination of emotional trauma, financial loss, social isolation, and mental health struggles can create a pervasive sense of hopelessness about the future. Victims may believe that they will never recover from the scam, financially or emotionally, leading them to see suicide as the only way out of their suffering.
  2. Despair and Emotional Exhaustion: The relentless stress and emotional toll of dealing with the aftermath of a scam can lead to emotional exhaustion. Victims may feel that they have no more strength to cope with their situation, leading to a sense of despair that can drive suicidal ideation.

Understanding these risk factors is essential for providing effective suicide prevention support to victims of relationship scams. By recognizing the unique challenges and vulnerabilities faced by these individuals, counselors and support workers can tailor their interventions to address the specific needs of scam victims, ultimately helping them find hope and resilience in the face of adversity.

Warning Signs of Suicidal Ideation

Overview

Counselors and support workers should be vigilant in recognizing the following warning signs in scam victims:

• • Expressions of hopelessness or worthlessness.
  • Withdrawal from social interactions.
  • Talking about being a burden to others.
  • Sudden changes in mood or behavior.
  • Expressing a desire to escape from pain or a sense of entrapment.

Recognizing the warning signs of suicidal ideation in victims of relationship scams is critical for timely intervention and support. These warning signs can manifest in various emotional, behavioral, and physical ways, and being able to identify them can save lives. Below are the expanded details on the warning signs to look out for:

Expressions of Hopelessness or Worthlessness

• 1. Verbal Indicators: Victims may frequently express feelings of hopelessness, such as saying, “I don’t see any way out,” “Nothing matters anymore,” or “Life isn’t worth living.” These statements, even if said in passing or jokingly, should be taken seriously as they can be indicators of deep despair.
  2. Feelings of Guilt and Shame: Victims might articulate a sense of worthlessness or overwhelming guilt, particularly about their involvement in the scam. They might say things like, “I can’t believe I was so stupid,” or “Everyone would be better off without me.” Such expressions reflect a significant internal struggle and can be a precursor to suicidal thoughts.

Withdrawal from Social Interactions

• 1. Isolation from Friends and Family: One of the most common signs of suicidal ideation is withdrawing from loved ones. Victims may avoid phone calls, messages, and social gatherings, preferring to be alone. This withdrawal is often a result of feeling too ashamed to face others or believing that they are a burden.
  2. Loss of Interest in Previously Enjoyed Activities: Victims may lose interest in hobbies, work, or social activities that they previously enjoyed. They might stop participating in events or activities without offering a clear explanation, which can be a red flag indicating emotional distress.

Talking About Being a Burden to Others

• 1. Statements of Burden: Victims might express concerns about being a burden to their friends, family, or society. They might say things like, “Everyone would be better off without me,” or “I’m just a burden to my family now.” These statements often reflect deep feelings of inadequacy and the belief that their death might relieve others of the burden they perceive themselves to be.
  2. Subtle Hints: Sometimes, victims may not explicitly state that they feel like a burden but might imply it through comments about how others would be relieved if they were gone or how they can no longer contribute to their household or community.

Sudden Changes in Mood or Behavior

• 1. Dramatic Mood Swings: Victims may exhibit sudden and severe mood swings, fluctuating between extreme sadness and calm or happiness. This can sometimes be a sign that they have made a decision to end their life, which temporarily relieves their emotional burden, leading to a calm demeanor.
  2. Increased Irritability or Anger: Some victims may become increasingly irritable or angry, often lashing out at others without clear reason. This can be a manifestation of their inner turmoil and frustration, which they may not be able to express otherwise.
  3. Apathy or Indifference: A sudden loss of interest in things that used to matter to them, such as personal appearance, responsibilities, or relationships, can indicate that the victim is disengaging from life.

Expressing a Desire to Escape from Pain or a Sense of Entrapment

• 1. Direct References to Suicide: Victims may directly talk about suicide, saying things like, “I wish I could just disappear,” “I can’t go on like this,” or “There’s no point in living anymore.” Any mention of suicide, no matter how casually it is stated, should be taken very seriously.
  2. Sense of Entrapment: Victims might describe feeling trapped in their situation, believing that there is no way out of their financial, emotional, or psychological pain. They might say things like, “There’s no escape,” or “I’m stuck and can’t see any way out.” This sense of entrapment is a significant risk factor for suicide.

Giving Away Personal Belongings

• 1. Unusual Generosity: Victims might start giving away personal items or money, particularly things that have sentimental value. They might frame it as being generous or wanting others to have things that they might enjoy. However, this can be a sign that they are preparing for their departure.
  2. Finalizing Affairs: Victims may suddenly take steps to finalize their affairs, such as making a will, paying off debts, or settling unresolved conflicts. This behavior can indicate that they are planning to end their life and want to ensure that everything is in order before they do.

Preoccupation with Death or Dying

• 1. Talking About Death: Victims may frequently talk about death, whether it’s their own or in general terms. They might express a fascination with what happens after death or discuss it more than usual. This preoccupation can be a sign that they are contemplating suicide.
  2. Researching Methods of Suicide: If a victim starts searching for information about suicide methods or talking about how they would end their life, this is a critical warning sign that they may be planning a suicide attempt.

Changes in Sleep Patterns

• 1. Insomnia or Hypersomnia: Significant changes in sleep patterns, such as insomnia (inability to sleep) or hypersomnia (excessive sleeping), can be indicators of severe emotional distress. Victims may have trouble sleeping due to intrusive thoughts about the scam or their financial situation, or they may sleep excessively to escape from their pain.
  2. Nightmares or Night Terrors: Victims might report having frequent nightmares or night terrors, particularly related to the scam or their feelings of betrayal. These sleep disturbances can further exacerbate feelings of despair and hopelessness.

Engaging in Reckless or Self-Destructive Behavior

• 1. Increased Risk-Taking: Victims may engage in risky behaviors, such as reckless driving, excessive alcohol or drug use, or unprotected sex. These behaviors might reflect a lack of concern for their own safety or a subconscious desire to harm themselves.
  2. Self-Harm: Some victims might begin to engage in self-harm, such as cutting or burning themselves, as a way to cope with their emotional pain. Self-harm is a significant warning sign of suicidal ideation and should be addressed immediately.

Sudden Calm or Relief After a Period of Depression

• 1. Sudden Improvement: A sudden improvement in mood after a long period of depression can sometimes indicate that the victim has made the decision to commit suicide. This improvement might be due to a sense of relief from deciding to end their life, believing that their suffering will soon be over.
  2. Uncharacteristic Calmness: Victims who suddenly appear calm or at peace, especially after a period of intense distress, should be closely monitored, as this can be a sign that they are planning suicide.

Recognizing these warning signs in victims of relationship scams is essential for timely and effective intervention. If any of these signs are observed, it is crucial to take them seriously and act immediately by offering support, conducting a thorough assessment, and connecting the victim with professional mental health services. Early detection and intervention can save lives and provide victims with the help they need to overcome their challenges.

Best Practices for Peer-Counseling Scam Victims with Suicidal Ideation

Create a Safe Environment:

1. 1. Establish a non-judgmental, empathetic, and supportive atmosphere where victims feel comfortable sharing their experiences.
   2. Encourage open discussions about their feelings and thoughts, especially around their experiences with the scam and its impact on their lives.

Use Evidence-Based Assessment Tools:

1. 1. Implement tools like the Columbia Suicide Severity Rating Scale (CSSRS) to assess the level of suicide risk. This tool is effective in gauging the severity of suicidal ideation and guiding intervention strategies.

Develop a Personalized Safety Plan:

1. 1. Collaborate with the victim to create a safety plan that includes coping strategies, contact information for crisis services, and steps to remove access to means of suicide.
   2. Involve trusted family members or friends in the safety plan to ensure the victim has a support network.

Address the Underlying Trauma:

• 1. Provide trauma-informed care that acknowledges the emotional and psychological impact of the scam.
  2. Refer victims to specialized mental health services for PTSD, depression, or anxiety management.

Promote Resilience and Coping Strategies:

• 1. Encourage the development of healthy coping mechanisms such as mindfulness, stress management techniques, and building supportive social connections.
  2. Help victims reframe their experiences by focusing on their strength in surviving the scam and working towards recovery.

Ensure Ongoing Support:

• 1. Regularly follow up with victims to monitor their mental health and adjust the safety plan as needed.
  2. Provide information about local resources such as support groups, financial counseling, and legal assistance to help them rebuild their lives.

Collaborating with Community Resources

1. Partner with local mental health services, crisis intervention teams, and financial counseling agencies to offer comprehensive support to scam victims.
2. Educate community members and professionals about the risks of relationship scams and the importance of early intervention in preventing suicide.

Postvention: Responding After a Suicide Attempt

If a suicide attempt occurs, it is critical to provide immediate and compassionate support:

Ensure the Victim’s Safety:

1. 1. If the victim is in immediate danger, contact emergency services and stay with them until help arrives.
   2. After the crisis, continue to monitor the victim closely and provide ongoing emotional support.

Engage in Post-Crisis Counseling:

1. 1. Offer counseling to address the trauma and emotions that led to the suicide attempt.
   2. Reinforce the safety plan and encourage the victim to stay engaged with mental health services.

Support Family and Friends:

1. 1. Involve the victim’s close contacts in postvention strategies, providing them with information on how to support the victim and recognize warning signs.

Review and Adapt the Safety Plan:

• 1. After a suicide attempt, review the safety plan with the victim, making necessary adjustments to address any gaps or new concerns.

How to Create a Victim Safety Plan

Creating a safety plan with the victim themselves is a delicate process that requires empathy, collaboration, and trust. The goal is to develop a plan that the victim feels comfortable with and committed to using when they experience suicidal thoughts or feelings. Here’s a detailed guide on how to create a safety plan that the victim will agree with and find effective:

1. Establish Trust and Rapport

• 1. Build a Safe Environment: Before beginning the safety planning process, ensure that the victim feels safe and supported. This involves creating an environment where they can speak openly without fear of judgment. Demonstrate empathy and understanding to help them feel comfortable sharing their thoughts and feelings.
  2. Acknowledge Their Experience: Validate the victim’s feelings and experiences, recognizing the trauma and distress caused by the relationship scam. Acknowledge that their emotions are a natural response to a very difficult situation, which can help reduce any shame or guilt they may feel.

2. Engage in Collaborative Decision-Making

• 1. Empower the Victim: Emphasize that the safety plan is theirs, and they have the power to shape it according to what they find most helpful. This approach helps empower the victim and fosters a sense of ownership over the plan, increasing the likelihood that they will use it when needed.
  2. Discuss Preferences: Ask the victim what they believe would help them in moments of crisis. Discuss their preferences for coping strategies, supportive contacts, and any specific resources they feel comfortable using. Tailor the plan to their individual needs and preferences, making adjustments as necessary.

3. Identify Personalized Warning Signs

• 1. Help Recognize Triggers: Work together to identify specific situations, thoughts, or feelings that typically precede a crisis. This might include thoughts related to the scam, feelings of isolation, or financial stressors. The more specific and personalized the identification of these warning signs, the more effective the plan will be.
  2. Explore Emotional and Physical Cues: Encourage the victim to think about the emotional and physical sensations they experience when they are feeling overwhelmed or distressed. This might include feelings of despair, anxiety, or physical symptoms like headaches or chest tightness. Recognizing these early can help them implement the safety plan before the crisis escalates.

4. Develop Personalized Coping Strategies

• 1. Internal Coping Mechanisms: Ask the victim about activities or strategies they have used in the past to cope with stress or distress. Discuss which of these have been most effective and how they can be incorporated into the safety plan. This might include listening to music, journaling, or taking a walk.
  2. Introduce New Techniques: If the victim is open to it, introduce new coping techniques such as deep breathing exercises, progressive muscle relaxation, or mindfulness practices. Work together to practice these techniques so they feel confident using them in a crisis.

5. Choose Supportive Contacts Together

• 1. Select Trusted Individuals: Ask the victim to identify people in their life whom they trust and feel comfortable reaching out to during a crisis. These should be individuals who are supportive, understanding, and non-judgmental. The victim should feel confident that these contacts will respond positively when reached out to.
  2. Role-Playing Conversations: To ease anxiety about reaching out, role-play what they might say when contacting these individuals during a crisis. This practice can help the victim feel more prepared and less hesitant to ask for help when needed.
  3. Discuss Boundaries: It’s important to discuss any boundaries or preferences the victim has regarding contacting others. For example, they may prefer texting over calling or want to contact certain individuals only in specific situations. Respecting these boundaries will make the victim more comfortable using the plan.

6. Discuss Professional Resources and Emergency Contacts

• 1. Professional Support: Ensure the victim has contact information for mental health professionals, such as a therapist or counselor, and discuss when and how they might reach out to these professionals. Make sure they know that it’s okay to contact these professionals outside of scheduled appointments if they are in crisis.
  2. Emergency Resources: Include information for emergency resources like suicide prevention hotlines (e.g., the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline) and crisis text lines. Discuss situations where it would be appropriate to use these resources and encourage them to keep this information easily accessible.

7. Plan for the Removal of Dangerous Items

• 1. Means Restriction: Discuss the importance of restricting access to any means that could be used for self-harm or suicide, such as medications, firearms, or sharp objects. Work with the victim to identify how they can safely store or remove these items from their environment. This might involve asking a trusted person to hold onto these items temporarily.
  2. Collaborative Agreement: Rather than dictating what should be done with these items, work collaboratively with the victim to come up with solutions they are comfortable with. This might involve discussing safe storage options or agreeing on steps they can take if they find themselves in possession of dangerous items.

8. Include Steps for Crisis Situations

• 1. Immediate Actions: Work with the victim to identify immediate actions they can take if they start feeling overwhelmed. This might include stepping outside, calling a friend, or using a specific coping technique. The goal is to have clear, simple steps they can follow without much thought when in crisis.
  2. Emergency Protocols: Discuss what the victim should do if they feel they are in immediate danger. This might involve contacting emergency services or going to a safe place where they can be with others until they feel more stable.

9. Review and Rehearse the Safety Plan

• 1. Go Through the Plan Together: Once the plan is developed, go through each step with the victim to ensure they understand and feel comfortable with it. Discuss any concerns or adjustments they might want to make.
  2. Rehearse the Plan: Encourage the victim to rehearse using the safety plan. This might involve role-playing a crisis situation or simply talking through how they would implement the plan. Rehearsing can help them feel more prepared and less anxious about using the plan when needed.

10. Regularly Review and Update the Plan

• 1. Ongoing Collaboration: Make it clear that the safety plan is a living document that can be revised and updated as needed. Encourage the victim to check in with you regularly to review the plan and make any necessary adjustments based on their current situation and feelings.
  2. Empower the Victim: Remind the victim that they are in control of their safety plan and can make changes whenever they feel something isn’t working for them. This ongoing collaboration reinforces their sense of agency and commitment to using the plan.

Creating a safety plan with the victim is a crucial step in suicide prevention, especially for those who have experienced the trauma of a relationship scam. By involving the victim in every step of the process, respecting their preferences, and empowering them to take control of their safety, you can help them develop a plan that they are more likely to use in times of crisis. This collaborative approach not only helps protect the victim but also fosters a sense of hope and resilience as they navigate their recovery journey.

Summary

Supporting traumatized victims of relationship scams requires a tailored approach that addresses their unique experiences and vulnerabilities. By recognizing warning signs, providing compassionate support, and implementing best practices in suicide prevention, counselors and support workers can play a critical role in helping these victims navigate their recovery journey. Collaboration with community resources and ongoing support are essential in reducing the risk of suicide and promoting healing and resilience.

Crime Vitim Advocates Legal Responsibility Notice

Crime victim advocates have a legal responsibility in most jurisdictions to maintain the confidentiality and privileged nature of their communications with scam victims, ensuring that any information shared by the victim remains protected unless given permission otherwise. This responsibility is grounded in laws and ethical standards that recognize the sensitive nature of the victim’s experiences and the potential harm that could result from unauthorized disclosure. By upholding confidentiality, advocates provide a safe and trusting environment where victims can openly discuss their experiences without fear of judgment or further victimization. This legal obligation not only builds trust between the victim and the advocate but also respects the victim’s privacy and autonomy, allowing them to seek the necessary support and guidance without risking exposure or additional trauma. Adhering to these confidentiality requirements is essential for the advocate’s role in empowering victims and supporting their recovery process.